Changing Seasons

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The seasons they change
They keep passing by and by
Burdens unreleased never lift
Nor do they become light

A weight so heavy
Hardly a breath to breathe
A lightless tunnel
Too deep to even see

What of these great burdens
I am determined to bear?
Pride will not lift them
And stubborn won't share

The seasons they change
Just like 1, 2, & 3
But theses shadows of pity
Refuse to set me free

Oceans of waves
Drown me with fear
Tried turning away
But the fear, its still here

Oh please God, please help me!
I'm spiraling down
My heart cries out broken
My world spins around

The seasons they change
For all who can see
I just wait for the day
Those seasons change me

The Bonds of Us

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Me and you, us two
We are a passionate duo
Embracing our love
And losing control

All our senses
Getting counted as loss
Pushing past those lines
We dare to cross

Blind to what is
Plainly seen
We tempt the heat
And play in its steam

A never-ending connection
Wrapped in circular degrees
That leads me back to you
And you back to me

Bent and shifted, never broken
Nor pulled from the other's grasp
A forceful shake of our foundation
Shows its built to last and last

Together we stand
United we grow
Despite toils and tribulations
Forever is all we know

Ugly Ways

Pretty little girls
With ugly ways
Can only go so far

Ugly little girls 
With pretty ways
Can get by on their charm

But Ugly little girls
With ugly ways
Have nowhere they can go

Life will offer them 
Its cruelest days
An unwelcome world to know

Eye rolls & swirly necks
An unacceptable hand to play
And loathsome company to keep

Fiery tongues
Cloaked in naughty words all day
An unfortunate adornment indeed

Their ugly ways
Will catch up to them & stay
That's most guaranteed

And while it runs
To reach its peak of hate
Noses turn from the stink

Her pretty has been buried so deep
Inside those ugly ways
It remains consistently unseen

Beauty may only run
As deep as the thinnest skin may
A mere fragment of an inch

But the ugliest ugly
Runs straight to the bone always
Just as dense as dense can be

Affects of an Affair

It all starts in your mind. Just a thought, in the wrong direction, of a person who is not your mate. Thoughts then become fantasies about what life would be like with this person.  Those fantasies can lead to an ongoing pursuit of a social relationship with the object of your imaginations.  Its been said that "affairs don't start in the bedroom, they start with a conversation."One word is all it takes to spark the flame and set the furnace of betrayal ablaze.

A flirty conversation may seem innocent at first, but when you're married,  you have to picture if you would be having this conversation with the opposite sex in front of your spouse. If the answer is no, then you've already gone too far.

The Huffington Post says "an emotional fidelity is the hardest thing to build, and it takes the biggest toll on a relationship when it is betrayed." When bridges have been burned between two people, it takes both of them, working in sync, to rebuild the space that has grown. But, I believe it is the responsibility of the betrayer to see to it that the building project is complete.  

An emotional connection with someone outside of your marriage runs deeper than the physical act of sex. This is why the affects are greater.  Being on the receiving end of betrayal can feel like a continuous death; one you  most certainly have to go through on a daily basis. Even if the couple decides to come back together and make it work, the one who has been betrayed is left with paranoia, lack of self esteem/confidence, and a conscious feeling of unworthiness.  Of course, these feelings can be controlled by the individual, but they have also been fostered by the betrayer. 

Its always hard to picture ourselves in someone else's shoes; especially when we've never experienced the same circumstance, but when the lines of betrayal have been crossed in your relationship, even the slightest movement back over that line can break down everything a couple may have worked hard to rebuild. Flirting with past behaviors and expecting your spouse should "trust you" simply because you say they should will not correct the past.  Your actions have to far out shine your words.  The real challenge comes when you're put in the same situation you were before you made the decision to step outside your marriage, but this time you choose to walk away.  

Opportunities to cheat are almost promised.  The way we react to them is dependent.  What will you do when you're not satisfied in your relationship?  Any relationship worth having will certainly have times when one or both partners is dissatisfied,and not happy.  How will you react to another person who comes along and makes everything feel better for the moment.  You know, the people who you feel can put a band aid over your knife wound.  Because that's all they really are; a band aid.  When it comes down to it, these people have not, and will not put up with the things that your spouse has over the years; nor will they have your back when it feels like the world is against it.   They are a temporary fix to your ego (insecurity) problem.  

There are a great many ways we expect to be treated by others.  We want to know that we can rely on them to keep their word to us; most especially when those words are said in a vow.  Its not surprising that most don't hold themselves to the same standard they expect from others. There is always an excuse to pardon their behavior, and its usually made so that the image they see in the mirror is easier to view. A great man once said' "you can make excuses, or you can make progress, but you can't make both." Make progress.

Trust & Honesty

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My trust flows freely
Whenever I know its true
That your love for me
Is as deep as your love for you

Honesty & trust,
Two things we've lost over time
And had to readjust
Our hearts to beat the same rhyme

Many bridges were broken
Some indefinitely
But we keep paddling and stroking
Across the river called trustworthy

When storms come along
And rock our boat in the water
Will we make it out strong?
Will we paddle even harder?

I get angry at the waves
They are bound to make me see
How ornery life behaves
When we step away from honesty

Self Manipulation

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The other day a coworker asked me if I believed masturbation was a sin. She asked this because of a post one of her friends made on a social media site stating that she believed the act was a necessary choice one made to help in the process of celibacy.  She compared masturbation to vegetarianism; where a man or woman would refrain from having sex with another person in the same way a vegetarian chooses to either only eat poultry and fish, or cut our meat all-together and include dairy their diet instead. My answer to her could be considered a broad one by many standards.  I believe although this personal act of self-manipulation can feel natural to most, it is not one all can handle, therefore; may be a sin for some.

So is masturbation really a sin?  It’s a question I’ve asked God myself.  Though in the Bible it doesn’t come out and directly say it is, there are many factors involved which can relate it to a sinful act.  In Matthew 5:27-29 Jesus says that, “anyone who looks at a woman to lust after her (or lustfully) has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”  This statement is directed toward men, but can also be used when women are looking at men lustfully.   In this way I feel that the act of self-manipulation is a sin, because for many there is no masturbation without the presence of some type of stimulation.  A large percent of people find this in pornography, or in the sexual imaginations of someone they are attracted to. 

My pastor once hinted at the subject during a sermon about marriage.  I can remember sitting in audience thinking, “Finally, I can get my question answered,” but afterward was still left in a sort of fog.  I wanted him to talk more about this subject which naturally seems so taboo, because I’d rather have advice from a more spiritually educated perspective.  What I can remember taking away from his sermon was that it was not a matter of the act, so long as you were thinking about your husband or wife, but a matter of where the act could lead. 

There are instances where this act can become an addiction, and the person finds themselves in a situation where they are no longer able to control the urge to self-manipulate.  In this way, masturbation becomes more of a drug that one uses to gain the euphoric feeling which comes along with the gratification.  Others may find it an easy outlet to gain access to those in the fantasy world whom they would normally not have the same freedoms with in reality.

If you are able to keep your thoughts in control, and they do not wander to persons outside the bonds of marriage, then masturbation, I believe is not a sin for you.  But if you are among a great portion of human beings who find it hard to commit the act without the consistent stimulation of a source outside of matrimony, then masturbation would most definitely be a sin.  After reading passages in the Bible to try and wrap my mind around how the Christian view on this subject would be, this is the conclusion I have come to, and it is the answer I gave to my coworker. My hope is that it cleared some of the clouds from the fog she had in her mind than it did for me when I first started asking the question. 

Elected Trouble

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Oh what a world we live in, now that Real Estate Mogul, Donald Trump is called the President of the United States, and the supposed leader of the free world.  The whole ordeal feels like a joke, or better yet, a bad dream which has made its way on to the scene of reality.  The country has been exposed to more than its share of warnings through mass media, rumor, and the words from this man's own mouth, about how crucial our decisions can be.  What direction will we be taken in under the direction of Trump’s leadership? My hope is that we are not a sinking Titanic, with the promise of greatness, but a destiny to fail.  How can a man who has no political background run an entire country?

The 2017 presidential election carried its campaign on the premise of the people’s deep seeded emotions. It’s just too bad those emotions were steeped in hate. Rumors have swirled about someone out of Russia hacking into America’s most confidential computer files and boosting the votes from the Electoral College in Trump’s favor.  It has also been said that Trump received a good portion of his support from the people who reside in the ‘backwoods’ of the nation, and hate groups like the KKK.  I must say that when someone like David Duke, a former grand wizard in the KKK steps up to publicly show his support for Trump, it seems a bit suspicious.  David Duke, a leading voice in a group of neo-Nazi-type Holocaust deniers, has himself been elected to the Louisiana state House of Representatives. It begs one to wonder what direction the government wants to take this country in. Are Latin people to be rounded up and detained?  The women freely fondled and harassed?  Will Muslims still find themselves under the eye of suspicion, and Blacks continually be oppressed?

I struggle though, to fully blame racist for their ignorant points of view. They were once impressionable children who knew no hate. But these impressionable children fell under the influence of hate-filled parents who chose to live their lives inside of such a taxing burden.  I can’t imagine why we call ourselves “the land of the free” when those who consider themselves the “majority” still live in chains. Yes, hate is a burden that keeps you bound in the prison of bitterness which steels every bit of joy you can have when compared to choosing the freedom in giving love instead.

I’ve been around my share of hateful people, and they all seem to share one thing in common; they are all so angry. I’m left to wonder if they are on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  “Racism is so universal in this country, so widespread, and deep-seated, that it is invisible because it is so normal.”-Shirley Chisholm. Will they build a mental facility big enough to house all of America’s racist when the weight of their abhorrence comes crumbling down?

We have now put into office a good representation of what goes on in the minds of the people in this country: lack of self-control, boastful loathing, a lofty thinking of oneself, and an agenda based solely to benefit the security and justice of those who view themselves as a type of deity above the rest of the nation.

History has been revised enough by government to allow for a biased way of thinking. This leads to a patriotism that is neither based on truth nor reality. I do have to say, the American system of government has done a fine job of being cunning enough to drive an educational and mass media system set up to shift the minds of its people so they truly believe they live in a nation who fights for each individual’s liberty and justice.  In truth, the system is set us to promote a false patriotism so that their ideals are established, and their crimes are protected and covered. One nation, who pushes out God, divisible, with liberty and justice for some.