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The other day, while I was in class, I noticed a sort of tension among a few of the girls. They were carrying on like everything was fine while throwing blatant shade to one another. I felt compelled to observe, just to see if I could gauge the root of why they seemed so upset. You see these girls had been stuck to each other like white on rice since I started teaching in the classroom. I thought to myself how sad it was really, because I could see past the facade they used to try and mask their true feelings, into what really matters; their hearts.
I stood back and watched as two young ladies, who are normally the best of friends, maneuver through the classroom trying to avoid making eye contact with the other. One of the girls in particular, made a show of how angry she was by dramatically rolling her eyes every time she passed her former best-but-no-today-yet-will-be-tomorrow-friend. As she took her seat, the girl sitting to her right whispered something in her ear (this third girl has been on the outs from the group for quite a while). Both of them laughed,but dramatic girl made an extra showing, glancing in the direction of their now shared enemy. I noticed that dramatic girl's laughter was beyond the tone one would expect from a whispered conversation. My guess was that her faux jubilence was a ploy to catch the attention of her former friend.
I sat and watched this display of drama unfolding before my eyes, and was taken back to a time when I was their age. I remembered how me and my "friends" would argue, then stop talking just to go behind the other's back and blast them to whomever would listen. Though I was a participant and promoter of the gossip, I still remember the tremendous hurt I felt as a result of the broken connection between me and my friend.
Having our feelings hurt is really the root cause of why we choose to react negatively when we feel we've been offended. We do anything we can to wrap a band aid around our hurt so we don't have to feel/deal with it; even to the point of lashing out at those we say we care about most. I was able to see this being displayed in the dramatic girl's attitude. She paced the room and made sizable gestures attempting to cover for the fact that she really just wanted to have her friend back.
Meanwhile, as far as I could see, her friend (though she may have been upset as well) held a cool head. She did a good job at not letting anyone see her sweat. From the outside looking in, most would consider her the "it" girl simply by the way she carries herself. Full of grace, and always adorned in a warm smile, I could see why many would want to befriend her. The stylish clothes and pretty nails are just an added bonus to who she truly is. But even with all of the "it" girl's dazzling personality traits, my heart went out to the one who was dramatic. I could see how deeply affected she was by what she viewed as the end of their friendship. I was led to encourage her to smile, not the fake "I'm fabulous and my lips are wrapping around my ears because I want everyone to think I am," cover up smile, instead of rolling her eyes, because everything would work out.
Sure enough, the next day the girls were back on good terms. It was nice to see both girls smiling with each other. I gave dramatic girl a knowing look, and she returned the favor. We both grinned, hers growing a littler deeper as I passed her by and winked. All was right with the world again.
