Dinner for One?

No one wants to be alone.  Connecting with someone outside of ourselves is a natural human need.  We all know the fear of being left behind.  We have all felt that aching need not to be the last one picked for a team on the school yard.  Many of us also feel the flush of embarrassment when we are forced outside of our comfort zone and have to dine alone for lack of company to share in the experience.

I used to be among those who felt as if all eyes were on me from the moment I hit the restaurant door if I came in by myself. I had never experienced dining alone until I was fully grown.  Even then, the urge to run out before anyone I knew saw me, picked away at my resolve. Yet I was determined to "be a big girl," with confidence enough in who she was for it not to matter if I had a person sitting next to me just to eat.

There were many first to be experienced as I entered adulthood. Not only did I take on the fear of being seen out alone, I also went all the way out and took myself to a movie.   Mind you, these "alone" experiences happened during pregnancy when my husband was off at work, but the change in hormones provided me with an outlet of minimal self-consciousness.  I no longer cared if I was seen out by myself.  I was happy to be doing something I wanted to do without having to submit to the insertion of another's opinion on what else I could be doing. I was having fun too!

So why do we have this natural need to connect? The answer is simple... We were made that way. Everyone knows the story of The Garden of Eden.  Even if you're not a Christian, you are familiar with it.  In the garden, Adam was enjoying all the bountiful blessings God provided, but even with everything he could seemingly need, God made him a mate because he said, "it is not good for man to be alone"(Genesis 2:18). Adam needed a partner to commune with, because God did not see among the animals, or the trees something that was suitable to Adam for companionship.

You see, God built in us, from the beginning, the desire to gravitate to a connection to another human body.  We need these connections in our lives to grow, to endure, to support, and to help us. The list of reasons can go on and on. This is not to say we can't function in society alone, we just function better with company.

Studies have shown that those who live alone actually have a longer life expectancy when they have a pet (ie: dog or cat) to care for, and even communicate with in some shape or form. Though pets may not supply the same type of connection as one human would to another, they do provide a listening ear and warm body which can help us to cope with the dread of being alone.

 I believe denying ourselves connections with others outside of ourselves is a deprivation of what is necessary. Some do it all for the sake of what they categorize as "independence." They become a type of hermit in a world full of people. But why do that when such richness can be found in bonding with others inside of a relationship?

Most people, when they hear the word relationship, typically think about the one between a man and woman, but relationships are so much more.  They are friendships, brotherhoods, sisterhoods, acquaintances, mother/daughter, father/son... All of these are important in the fulfillment of life.

Many will say that we can't make it in this world alone.  And though physically we may survive, mentally we won't be living.  The connections I have with my family and friends run deep.  My best friends also happen to be my sorority sisters.  I cannot imagine a life without their influence, their support, their listening ear, or their help.  If there are any out there who can vouch for the notion that they have made it in this world all alone, I would certainly like to see the list of names.  My belief is that it would be a taxing effort to find them.

*photo provided by: raykiwsp.wordpress.com/2014/10/21/i-wish-you-great-companionship/