Old-School Parenting

What has the world come to when adults walk around afraid of their kids?  That's backwards!  There is always a certain level of respect in fear, and today we seem to be teaching our children that they are the only ones worthy of the respect.

I don't understand this new age way of parenting. I guess I'm too old school.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm apart of the last generation who was actually scared when a teacher told me they were about to call home and tell my mother about my behavior, or grades.  I knew if a teacher called home, my mother would come along side the teacher to make sure that my grades were straight, or my attitude was adjusted. They worked together!  That was the key.

Now-a-days, kids want you to call their parents so the parents can come up to the school and curse the teacher out.  What kind of accountability logic is this?  And in the school systems, what the parent's say goes.  This in turn makes the children feel as if they have power over the teacher.  Every thing done, or said has to be carefully examined, but the one who suffers the greatest consequence is the teacher.

I have personally been told what I'm NOT allowed to say by a student. Not that I would disrespect any student, but the fact that this particular student felt it necessary to come to me out of the blue and tell me  I was not allowed to tell them what to do; yet they spoke in such a disrespectful manner, not only to me, but other adults, gave me pause.  I had to wonder who it was that taught this child to have such an attitude of entitlement.  My mind could only race to one conclusion. The parents...

The nightly news reported on the arrest of a young single mother who was called at her job by by a witness who had seen her children attempting to break into a neighbor's home.   Her response was to leave work the moment she found out, and return home to reprimand her children.  She chose to discipline them by using the good old-fashioned trusty method.  A whooping.  After doing this, one of her children, who said they had been taught in school to call the police if their parents hit them, did just that.

Without taking into considerations the mother's side of the story, the police came to her home and arrested her.  Watching the tears stream down her face as she explained to the reporters the whole ordeal bothered me.  She told them that she was only trying to keep her children from falling into a system that had already claimed the freedom of their father.  She felt that by going home and immediately handling the problem with corporal punishment, she was showing her children that there are harsh consequences which follow a choice like the one they made.

She went on to explain that her discipline was not cruel or excessive, but necessary in order that her children (young black males) would not have to face the brutality from the current  legal injustice system on the Black community.  Personally, I agree with her logic, especially being the mother of two young black males myself.

After seeing their mother arrested for what she felt was giving them proper parenting, what type of mindset do those children have now?  Law enforcement, in that case, did those children an injustice, because now they feel entitled to go out and repeat the same action without the consequence of having a mother ready to perform her job as their parent.  They have been empowered to be entitled, and this is my problem with the way American society is raising up their children.

Not long after this mother's arrest, and elderly grandmother was arrested for swatting her grandchild's behind.  This time the grand daughter called the police because her grandmother swatted her for speaking disrespectfully to her.  This woman was picked up by the police like a common criminal, and she didn't even have the luxury of full mobility.  Who comes to pick up a grandmother and takes her to jail simply because she didn't want to be disrespected in her own home?  American law enforcement to the rescue... I guess.

I cringe to think of the world we face in the future with the types of children who are upheld in their wrong by the so-called justice and school systems.  If we are not making it our jobs to teach today's children about respect and discipline, what type of world will they be prepared for tomorrow?  I am certain they will not be equipped to face a law enforcement they are sure to encounter with the type of teaching that tells them they are entitled to behave the way they want without any serious consequences.  Yet, no one is telling them how serious the consequences get when they grow up and attempt to do the same things they did as children.

So far, from my point of view, those parents who are too scared to raise their own children, either through intimidation from lackadaisical rules impressed upon them from an outside source, or just plain scared of their own children, better get ready to be cared for with the same recklessness they've allowed when they become senior citizens.

Its not too late to steer this ship called parenting in the right direction though.  Old-school parenting does not always entail beating your children into submission. As a matter of fact, I don't feel that is what is meant when the term is used.  It is a stigma attached to the phrase, but what is really meant by old-school parenting, is the demand for respect when you are in the position to do so.  Everyone needs to know the harsh realities in the consequences of their choices, otherwise; they are prone to repeating mistakes, or worse, not learning from them.

Don't get me wrong, I am a firm believer in NOT sparing the rod. If the Bible says it will spoil the child, as a Christian, I must believe that corporal punishment, done the right way, is good for a child.  Especially if the lack of it is said to "spoil the child."  No one wants to deal with something that is spoiled.

I believe society as a whole in America is getting it wrong when in comes to the direction we are taking in rearing our children.  I myself have noticed good, polite, obedient, and respectful  foreign children becoming Americanized in school settings where they are pressured to feel assimilated to fit in.  These children have gone from valuing the privilege of an education to the irresponsible behavior in the lack of hard work being taught to them by their peers.  They have also lost the discipline in self control which had been instilled in them before they came to this country.  This is a harsh reflection of a fault in our own values. So when are we going to turn things around?  The direction we are sending our children in is dangerous, and change is dire.  If we do not become more strict with our discipline we hurt not only ourselves, but the children we are trying to send off into this world.